Friday, November 12, 2010

Black Friday FlashBacks

Black Friday ..... for most people there is an air of tradition know the getting up early or not going to bed at all ... all the sales papers sprayed out over then kitchen table. A paper with the hopefully mapped out morning of two or three different stores you want to hit and then breakfast. The standing in line talking to people you don't know about the deals and the dangers of cutting line....


and then there is my view,


I am sure that mine in not in the majority of views on the marvelous blessed goes my one and only Tale of "THE BLACK FRIDAY OF DEATH".

Number #1 they wake me at 2:30 so that we can get dressed so that

Number #2 we can go stand in line for 2 solid hours in some butt freaking cold ass weather.

Now you need to realize this before all else. I am pissed that you woke me after only 4 and a half hours sleep ... now I am freezing and in line with people that I don't know. These people seem to be overly perky and all I can do at this point is glare at them. I spend the next two hours listening to my friend tell everybody 10 up the line and 10 behind us that I am not a morning person..... then there are cops ... yes real cops on horses clopping up and down the line making sure that a fight doesn't break out over cutting line...(OVER CUTTING LINE)


This real weird fever goes down the line when they see 3 or 4 target workers start walking around the front doors..... then after what seems like a forever time of teasing us they open the doors. They never make eye contact they just open and run..... that's when I noticed that they have the buggy's in two rows. They also have a row of orange cones in the middle like its some kind of line ... at first I start walking at a normal pace and I notice that the people in front of me start to 'fast pace walk. Then it slowly turns into a trot and before I know it they are running so start this slow run too because if I didn't I feared being trampled to death by those soccer moms hopped up on Ritalin with those too wide eyes and hands placed lightly on my back silently telling me that if I don't pick up the pace the herd was going to leave me behind ... so for survival sake I begin a slow run.... praying not to trip over any cone or piss anyone off. I get to the end of this track and see all these women running and snatching thing like their lives depended on what goods they came away with..... that's when I knew it ...


I hate Black Friday,


I hate it with my soul ..... it seemed like everything that was wrong with our society .... was wrapped up right here in a really big neat bow ..... that cost more than it should, but a price that these women were willing to pay just to be part of something ...because believe you me it isn't the "deals" as they called them ..... I think I bought a portable DVD player that morning and there it was for the same price a week later.... So when someone says BLACK FRIDAY to me with them crazy eyes... I tell them to ...




There isn't anything I could imagine that would make me want to rub elbows with the straight jacket needing group that shows up for these things.... now like I say its not for me and this is my view on this great tradition, so if you have hate .... send it to someone who will appreciate it .... I will not fact I don't bother reading those posts ...its just bad ju-ju ..... Happy Holidays!!