Motherless Mothers DaY

Today is May the 12 2013...... Its mothers day ... I prepare gifts for my mother-in law and get ready for my kids to come over for dinner. Today is a day also where I go get flowers and take them to my Mothers grave site ..... I sit and talk to her and tell her whats going in my life and how the kids are doing. I am always amazed at how many years its been since she passed. Let me tell you about my mother.

Her name was Nettie Mae DuBois she was 74 years old when she died. Her birthday was December 11 1927. My mothers  ...mother died when mom was around 11 years old..they said of malnutrition but may years later mom got type1 diabetes so I think that is probably  what her mom had but they just didn't know that's what she had back then even if she went to the doctor at all back in those days. She was raised by her father Albrey Delbridge and her older sisters.My mother later fell in love with Jessie Dee DuBois. He was from the poor side of the tracks and knowing that her father would not approve of Dee she met him secretly ... became engaged and during this engagement they found out that Moms father had cancer. My mother married my father privately before her father passed. She cared for her dieing father and would sneak off to spend small amounts of time with her newly wedded husband. When Albrey died mom and dad started their life together. Soon they found out that after years of trying that they could not have children .....ok I know you are like what the heck .... how are you their kid if they couldn't have kids well let me tell you the rest of the story.

I was born on October 30th 1966. Jill Renee Johnston. I was the youngest of 4 children. I was given up to my great aunt and uncle by marriage when I was 9 months old. I was told that one day when my biological mother came to pick me up and because she left me with Nettie and Dee for long periods of time Nettie jokingly told her that maybe she should just give me to them ..... and the next week she brought me with all my stuff and gave me to Nettie and Dee.. She left me with them when Nettie was 40 years old and Dee was 51. Now here I sit at 46 years old and I see the sacrifice that they made taking me in at that late in the game. They didn't have to take me ...they just did ... they stepped up to a plate that two people have walked away from.... they took me kindergarten and bought me not one but two pony's. We lived on a 99 acre farm. We went on vacations and went fishing and we went to church ..... I played Mary in the Christmas plays .... so much normal it would scare you.Now we weren't perfect, but it was a great childhood with two parents that loved me. My mother hand washed my clothes and taught me to tell time. We would work in the garden together. When mom would can pears she had to do it as fast as possible because I would eat them so fast it wasn't even funny. I remember one year my mother had waited 7 years for her peony bush to bloom and it finally did, one single bloom and I was around 4 years old and I remember picking that flower and running around the back of the house to hide because I knew I had done wrong. I remember her being upset but hugging me and telling me that it was just a flower and that I meant more to her than that silly flower. She loved me with out bounds even through my teenage years. In 82 my father Dee died of a massive heart attack .... I worried that she would go with him .... but then a couple of years later mom met Chester Bly and her stood by mom til she passed in 2002. She was an awesome mother and to my kids she was a blessing to be my kids Memaw. She met my husband only once when she was in the hospital and she asked him if he was going to take care of her little girl ... my husband said yes and a few days later my mother when to be with the Lord. So be thankful this Mothers day if you have the blessing of going to your mother and hugging her ...placing a kiss on her cheek ....taking her to lunch... because for some of us .... its flowers and a one sided conversation at the grave yard..... and a void in our heart that will only be filled when we

join her in heaven one day. I love you mom and I miss you every day and I a grateful for the sacrifice you made to take care of a little girl who had no one.https://www.facebook.com/

Jessica Dee Hoover Aug.19 1985 - Sept 7th 1985

Sometime in the month of Feb 1985 I became pregnant with my first child. I remember it was my fiance Jimmy and my brother Kenneth were at the clinic with me ...I came outside where they were standing and told them the good news. Jimmy was so happy. I didn't want to get married at this point even though we were in the middle of planning our wedding this came about. I didn't want it to look like we had to get married so I called off the wedding ...but after a couple of months Jimmy talked me into it because he so wanted our child to have his last name...at about 4 months pregnant we got married southern style in front of a judge with his sister and her boyfriend as witnesses. The bride wore a blue sundress because it was big enough. I wore blue cameo earrings that I still have to this day. That were borrowed from his grandmother. We came home and he went fishing and I started cooking dinner. I was about 6 months pregnant ....and the pregnancy felt weird.....I had this strange feeling that something was wrong with the baby. Everyone told me that I was just worried and its was just first time pregnancy pains. I tried to put it out of my mine but that weird feeling never left me. about 10:00 on August the 18th I went to the bathroom and felt some kind of leakage happening. I told Jimmy that we needed to go to the hospital that something wasn't right. Jimmy was so excited that the baby was coming it was dawning on him that she was coming 3 months too early. They did all they could to stop the contractions but the baby was in distress and they rushed me to a hospital Vanderbilt Medical hospital in Nashville Tennessee and there Jessica Dee Hoover was born at 7:15 that morning she weighed in at 3 pounds and 2 ounces. She has blood on the brain. She had Jaundice. She had a virus called the CMV Virus. Its simple ...I caught a cold and its like a 1 in 10,000 chance that she could catch it but ...she did and it did a lot of damage to my little girl. It was hard to grip how tiny she was. Jimmy could hold her in one of his big hands. Here we were two kids ...not only having a kid but I premature one. My world spun out of control. I prayed even when doctors took me into their office and told me there was no hope for her. Here health during this time would improve and then decline ...it was a nightmare roller coaster that I couldn't get off and I had to hold my head up high and know that God had this. I stayed in the hospital for 2 weeks. They took blood ...so much blood and ran test on me. You see Jessica was one of 7 kids that had contracted this virus and they weren't understanding it fulling so they were running every test know to man on me and my little girl trying to beat a ticking time bomb which was going to be my daughters death. on the 9th day of my stay I was walking down one of the halls trying to get my strenght back and I heard a voice I cant tell you either in my head but it sound just like hearing a person talk to you... and it told me that my daughter was going to leave me and that it was o.k. That it was the way thinks where supposed to work out. I stepped back ...I thought it was my own minds voice or maybe the devil trying to make me lose my faith... but at that moment I was ashamed that I even entertain an idea like that .....but I later I figured that it had to be God preparing me for my daughters departure. One Sept.7th 1985 my daughter left this world. to perfect for the sin of this world she went back to be with her father and there she wait for me and one day I will see her again and I will hold her in my arms and she will call my name "Mommy". I still have a void in my soul where she firs perfectly. I know the Lord has a plan for this ....for it to make me stronger for it to make me love my daughter Heather and my son Taylor more than I would have without her. She is in this little box in my heart and every now and again I get it out and I remember every smile and sound she made and the way she felt in my arms and how her little heart would just race when she would her her fathers voice and how blessed I was to have her in my life if only for a brief moment it was one of the best moments of my my life and nothing in this world will ever come close to it. I held on to a real angel and it was amazing and scary and I would do it again all over again just hold her again.

Husband Grooming

Yes ... you read that right Spouse Grooming, Its when a "friend" "Co-Worker" Set into being everything you as their Wife/Husband are not. They take time to listen to your spouse because innocently they will tell these people all their marrige problems then the Groomers will figure out what is missing or lacking in your marriage then they slowly talk to your spouse and slowly morph into that person your are failing to be. The conversation also always head innocently into a sexual nature and his is when the Groomergets to innocently tell your spouse all the great things that they can do for them sexually and from where they have sat and listening to all the lacking points of your marriage can totally get big points in this area .... but once they have brooched the subject both parties usually knows where this relationship is headed.
Sometimes its just a game people play without any intent of hooking up with them sometimes its just the high of getting attention from someone .... but sometimes these Grooming sessions end marriages.

Let me explain to you ..... My husbands ex-girfriend reconnected with both of us around our 8th year of marriage. My husband even asked if it was o.k. if she was friends with us. I being a full believer in trust, said yes. Fully convident that my husband would never cheat on me. This ran into her coming to a huge Halloween bash that I throw every year and us being invited to her kids birthday parties. I thought that things were going along just great.Not that we were besties or anything but they seemed o.k. Now here is where the red flags popped and I ignored them (Note: never ignore red falgs) She ended up without a job and my husband and I worked at the same place and once again my husband asked me would I mind if he asked my boss if they had a job for her and once again.... I said "Sure" Well that is where this little nightmare begins. It stared with the fact that she was working third shift and I was working dayshift and my husand kinda hit right in between. So if my husband had to stay late enough which was a couple of nights a week they would sit at the picnic table and talk. I am sure that my husband talked to her about how our marriage had changed since the wreck. (Had a wreak about 5 years ago almost died took along recovery time) So this girl  K.C was grooming herself to be the girl that I wasnt to my husband...please dont get this broken I blame both partys takes two to dance this dance. But as I would come in to work she would constainly tell me that she either talk to my husband or facebooked him or texted him and all red flags but the one that had the brightest red light was when she poked me and told me if I ever needed help with him *wink*  *wink* she would be there for me. I told my husband all of this and he asked if I wanted him to quit talking to her.... but I didnt want to sound jealous I said no .... (Dumb move again)  Well the year rolled on her family attended our Halloween party and Christmas came and went ... We got her a candleholder and candle and she got us bath towel and a candle ...these gifts will matter later. My husband had accumulated too many vacation days at work so for about three weeks he was going to have to take Monday and Tuesday off for the next three weeks. The first Monday I came home from work and there was my loving husband .... I asked him how was his day off ....what did you end up doing I asked ....nothing he responded , I told him that was exactly what a vacation day was for.. When in fact my husband had went out to eat lunch with K.C. and she had to give him the hat she bought him for Christmas  .... their lunch date was on April the 11th 2012. I came home on Wednesday of that week and my husband of 9 years informs me that she has given him a hat and it was a Christmas present. I asked "Why is she giving you a Christmas present we have already done Christmas....Then he informs me that its because he made her a braclet to go with a necklace that she already had. .... The he lowered the lunch date on me. I blew up seven way of Sunday he said he didnt tell me because he knew I would get angry.... Really?  Now .... let me tell you ladies ... and some will argue but you trust me second marriage trusted both of them to the max and have been served my ass on a platter both times .... if your wife has a male friend or your husband has a female friend..... almost always there is one party in that pair that wants the other ..... your husband or wife might be the one wanting or maybe they are the one wanted.... but it starts slowly and some even innocently were neither of them knew they had feeling .... but one of them will start turning into the spouse that you are not and they can because they dont have to be that person all the time ...just the few minutes or hour that they get to spend with the person you love, Then all of a sudden you get that speach of how its not you or anything you did ....they didnt mean for it to happen......it just happened ...no my friends it doesnt  JUST happen ......it grows slowly and its called emotional cheating and honest to me its worse that phyical cheating because ...the heart is involved. This happens in factories and cubicales all arond the world and ....you the spouse are caught off guard. So if the spouse is dressing better or putting on cologne/perfume when he/she used to not ...... Realize that this is a "RED FLAG" and that your marriage is in jeapory. If it wasnt for my husbands conscience ....I always wonder where that relationship might have gone. My husband and I are still in the beginnings of trying to even figure out if this is worth saving. I have never had something hurt me so deeply and emotionally. Be careful of the women/men  married or not that standing or touching your spouse too much. Attached men have no need to hang out with married or single women As do attached women have no reason to hang out with married or single men. You are just asking for trouble and any desent man or woman  know this. Eyes open ladies/Gentlemen ....from me to you ....

George Foreman Mind blower

Hi .... today's blog is going to be titled "The George Foreman Grill Mind blower" I am always looking for ways that get me the heck out of the kitchen. Just because I was born with "Lady Parts" did not make me a automatic chef. I have never had a natural desire to cook. With that said I am going to share with you something so simple ...but every time I tell someone about it ...they freak out on me .... like wow that's is awesome!! Why in the world didn't I think of that. So I thought it was time to blog it ...Pin it and face book this for the people out there that not only hate to cook but hate to clean as
well. First you need a George Foreman Grill ...

 any size .... this is one of those times that size really doesn't matter. As you can see mine gets alot of use.

Now you are going to need some Tin Foil. I use Reynolds Wrap because it is thicker.



You pull off enough tin foil to cover the bottom and top of your grill

Meat on foil

 Season it or not

Now here is a freebie that I am going to throw out there just because of the good human being that I am. See that black tray in the picture above .... Well place that under the food "BEFORE" you start cooking so it can go ahead and catch all the grease and juices before they run all over the counter and make a total mess and make you say words that you have to pray about later!!!

                         Place your other piece of foil on top of this and pull lid down as usual.

                       Few minutes later food is hopefully not fatal and can be consumed

(It will be hot so please handle with caution)

Chicken on platter wad up tin foil and throw away

And low and behold most of the time you will have

a clean grill that you might have to wipe down with a rag.

Most of the time it will be totally clean.

Unattached Parenting

When I first became a parent I didn't know what in the shit I was doing.

 No one prepared me for all the gross horror that I was about to face .... the screaming for hours on end the poop that was going to end up on my hands sometime my face and even once in my hair. I will also admit that there were times I didn't even want to be around my own child. Not because I didn't love her but because when my kids where little people expected you to actually raise your own kid. We didn't hand them to grandma or sister or babysitter ... ex-husbands were not as many back then.... the world really thought that you "The Parent" should rear their own offspring.

No lets address the reason for this post.

 Last week I decided to take my nephew Frederick (age 6) and my son Taylor (age 15) to go and check out the new "Kids Castle" that they had re-vamped in our neighborhood and bonus I would get to  shoot some overdue photos of my boys. We tried out everything swings, slides, flying saucers and even a grasshopper ride. Then as I stood there trying to watch them play tag this little girl came up and tugged on my pants leg and in the cutest 4 year old voice and insisted that I  "Watch This!!"  and she jumped up and down on stair steps then she proceeded to show me that she could dance followed by how far she could jump....she asked me to watch her slide down the slide and as she was climbing the tower I searched the playground area for her mother ... the little girl was about four and Hispanic so I figured young Hispanic mother or father.  I glanced over all the parents there was only one young Hispanic woman and she was sitting on a bench doing something on her phone ..... soon as I laid eyes on what I believed to be the little girls mother I heard the little girl yell at me to watch .... I yelled back that I was watching and looked back at mom she didn't even notice..... so I watched her slide down the slide laughing having a ball I switched back and forth watching this little girl and my nephew for the good bit of an hour and ever so often looking at the lady on the bench and in this stretch of 55 or so minutes she never so much as looked up once this making me start to doubt that this was the little girls mother... so I start looking at the other mothers and fathers and what struck me was that 6 of the 13 parents that were there that day were totally not watching their kids they were sitting on the benches and the picnic tables updating their face book, checking emails or texting ....and most of these parents to kids that were under 6 years old. Then I looked back to find my nephew and I saw the little girl at the Hispanic lady asking for something to drink and without taking her eyes off her phone she spoke something to the little girl and the little girl  got a juice out of her mothers purse took a drink and ran back out to the swings.


I hear all these people that are grossed out at the attachment parenting which yes some of that stuff is way too far out there for me. I have to bring light to the "Unattached Parent"   .... Parents that would rather be texting or on Face book ....hanging out with friends,  anything but spending real one on one time with their kid(s). I have a friend that is the poster child for "Unattached Parent" She is always one the phone  ...in between work and friends and her new boyfriend her daughter is lucky to get 20 hours with her a week and even when they are together she has her in front of a T.V. or her video game so that she doesn't have to actually spend time with her.... does that sound familiar? If it does its time to start reprioritizing your life and what is most important and planned or a How they hell did that happen well guess what it is your responsibility to raise these little human being .... more than providing them things, they also need your time and teachings of the "wrongs" and "rights" and to guide them through this life that is so much harder than it was 20-30 years ago ... they need you more than I needed my parents back in the early 70's. Stop for a moment ...take them to the Park or to the Zoo .....  and leave your phone in the car ....I hate to break this to you guys but back in the day we didn't have cell phones and people actually went for hours not talking or texting people constantly. I think these sweet little angels deserve your time and attention. Be present in your child's life. You chose to be a parent ...they had no choice in being your child. So thats it for this post I hope to enlighten one parent before they wake up one day and their kid is either grown and dont want anything to do with them or they are having to vist time in prison because honestly they didnt get enough hugs from mommy and daddy. Grow up and be the parent your child need, wants and deserves.

Hi .... today's blog is going to be titled "The George Foreman Grill Mind blower" I am always looking for ways that get me the heck out of the kitchen. Just because I was born with "Lady Parts" did not make me a automatic chef. I have never had a natural desire to cook. With that said I am going to share with you something so simple ...but every time I tell someone about it ...they freak out on me .... like wow that's is awesome!! Why in the world didn't I think of that. So I thought it was time to blog it ...Pin it and face book this for the people out there that not only hate to cook but hate to clean as well. First you need a George Foreman Grill ...

                                  Any size .... this is one of those times that size really doesn't matter. As
                                                    you can see mine gets alot of use.

Now you are going to need some Tin Foil. I use Reynolds Wrap because it is thicker.That helps when you are getting meat off of the tin foil.



                           You pull off enough tin foil to cover the bottom and top of your grill

Meat on foil

 Season it or not

Now here is a freebie that I am going to throw out there just because of thegood human being that I am. See that black tray in the picture above .... Well place that under the food "BEFORE" you start cooking so it can go ahead and catch all the grease and juices BEFORE
 they run all over the counter and make a total mess and make you say words that you have to pray about later!!!

                                             



                    Place your other piece of foil on top of this and pull lid down as usual.

                                           Few minutes later food is hopefully not fatal
                                                            and can be consumed

(It will be hot so please handle with caution)

Chicken on platter. Wad up tin foil and throw away.

And low and behold most of the time you will have

a clean grill that you might have to wipe down with a rag.

Most of the time it will be totally (Sorta) clean.

Thank you and God speed!!

Kid Free businesses

I heard of all these businesses that are going kid free. Then I heard all the breeders (non active parents) start cranking up about how much these business owners must be kid hater.  That you should  never step foot in there establishments. This made me laugh it was so misunderstood. Then this week not only are people stepping foot in these businesses they are gaining business..... Kid free restraunts, kid free theatres, even " kid free" cruises. Cue: breeders scratching heads and organizing internet mobs. What parents of today's spoiled, undisciplined children don't get is that it isn't the kids we hate .....IT IS YOU we hate! Understand,  if you don't get nothing else from this piece.... your kids we feel the utmost pity for. Being saddled with lazy, unresponsible parents such as yourself ...you either are too lazy to make your kids mind .. or just stupid if you think that letting them "Do their own thing" is a great choice of parenting. I think most parents today are the first kind .... I think they are kids themselves. I think they had kids because either they were copying their friends  or their parents begged and begged for grand kids, so they just joined a cult I refer to as  Breeders... now at first this was awesome they had this little being that even though they pooped and peed themselves .... they netted the parents bookoo's of attention and this probably lasted til 2 years old. Then this child need a parent. A grown-up if you will to teach them how to act and behave. Now back in the day this was doable.... parents were strong enough to take the time and patience to school their young in the lessons that would teach them to be viable human beings. The today parent is way to busy playing on the Internet ...pinning.....posting and liking other useless parents Facebook profiles..they are too busy leaving their kids with anyone that will watch them while they go shopping ...getting nails done ...tanning or getting drunk with the boy or golfing anything to escape the responsibility of raising ones young. If they do have to actually spend time with these little snot bubbles they buy them way too many toys and most of these toys are what I call "distraction toys" they are to distract the child away from needing anything from the parents that is why their are 2 billion kids out there that would rather play Call of Duty than to go out to the lake for the day. Now you sit and wonder why oh why do all these mean people hate my kids ....well they don't they honestly hate your lack of parenting skills. The way you sit there and let your kids run around these eating establishments without so much as a word. You hold these 2 year old and let them scream non stop for a spand of 20 minutes til you make me want to walk up and take the child from you and see what in the world is wrong with it. The correct thing is to take your child if you cant get them to stop crying outside and away from people that are trying to enjoy a night out. Once the child is under control you come back in ...if they are running and acting up ...1st time you take them to the bathroom and explain what will happen if they act up again ..2nd time you follow through with punishment. Now back in my day that was a spanking but now I think its a strong talking to. But if you cant make your child mind then you might want to think about eating at home .... watching netflix  ..... You have to parent people its not optional. Its a requirement. Its gotten sobad that they are throwing you and your kid out of places that has to tell you something.