Tales of a Tennessee Tomboy

Hello! My name is Jill R. Hilliard


                                          and I am a tomboy. I really wonder if it was DNA and there was
nothing that could have been done about it. Then I wonder if I wasnt toally surrounded
by mostly men would I be all lace and manners? I was born of the result of an affair that my biologicial mother had. I was the only girl born after 3 boys. I was given to my great aunt and uncle raised on a farm. I followed my (uncle) dad every step he made. I helped feed farm animals .... I watched cows give birth. I even remember trying to be like my dad I got into his snuff and dipped. My (aunt) mom flipped out. I loved my dad and wuld have followed him off a cliff if he would have jumped. Then there was the friends I grew up with. There wastwo families the Arnolds and the Harrisons both families had two boys. The Harrisons also had a girl but she was like 8 years younger than me. So this meant playing cowboys and Indians. We played "Gunsmoke" and I always had to play Miss kitty because I was technically a girl. I always wanted to be a gunslinger. If you have ever seen the movie "Stand by me" that was our gang. There was the Arnold boys. Mark and Paul. Mark was about a year younger than me and Paul was about 3 years younger than me. Now for the Harrison boys their is Darrell who was a year older than me and his little brother Danny who was around Pauls age and we hung out caught fireflies walked for miles and miles on adventures. We would go home at twilight. Around 13 years old I got a crush on Darrell and wreaked the entire foundation of our group. It was the summer before Darrell went into highschool. We had the best summer of holding hands and swing n the porch swing. The the school year begain and he couldnt be known having a girlfriend that was still in elementry school (Before middle schools) and he broke up witho have  me. Dont get me wrong I tried to be normal and have girlfriends. before all the boys my family became friends with a huge family The Andersons. The dad was a preacher and took go forth and multiply seriously. He had 3 girls and 2 boys. and the middle girl was Cindy I went to church with her and I ate dinner with her family. All of Mr. Andersons daughters were blond and at dinner time he would refer to me as his only burnettee daughter. We played dolls and would help feed their baby calves ( they owned a dairy farm) The we started first grade and that is when Cindy meet the mean girls there was Carol the leader and her followers Connie Kristy and on occation Veronica and Renee. I remember the day that Cindy traded our friendship for a seat at the popular table.

Letting them go.

My son passed to the 11th grade this year. The minute he told me I could almost smell the storm coming in. I feel it coming toward me like a train speeding down the track ....its not right upon me yet but I know it coming...... the day my last baby heads off  to college ...out into the big bad world. My daughter Heather left out when she was the mere aga of 18. Just like her momma she was so ready to get out into the world and she what it had to offer her. She moved in with roommates which made her momma sleep better at night knowing that the two people with her would do anything to protect her. Even with all that one year later she was back home.... admmiting that she wasnt

Motherless Mothers DaY

Today is May the 11, 2014..... Its mothers day ... I prepare gifts for my mother-in law and get ready for my kids to come over for dinner. Today is a day also where I go get flowers and take them to my Mothers grave site ..... I sit and talk to her and tell her whats going in my life and how the kids are doing. I am always amazed at how many years its been since she passed. Let me tell you about my mother.

Her name was Nettie Mae DuBois she was 74 years old when she died. Her birthday was December 11 1927. My mothers  ...mother died when mom was around 11 years old..they said of malnutrition but may years later mom got type1 diabetes so I think that is probably  what her mom had but they just didn't know that's what she had back then even if she went to the doctor at all back in those days. She was raised by her father Albrey Delbridge and her older sisters.My mother later fell in love with Jessie Dee DuBois. He was from the poor side of the tracks and knowing that her father would not approve of Dee she met him secretly ... became engaged and during this engagement they found out that Moms father had cancer. My mother married my father privately before her father passed. She cared for her dieing father and would sneak off to spend small amounts of time with her newly wedded husband. When Albrey died mom and dad started their life together. Soon they found out that after years of trying that they could not have children .....ok I know you are like what the heck .... how are you their kid if they couldn't have kids well let me tell you the rest of the story.

I was born on October 30th 1966. Jill Renee Johnston. I was the youngest of 4 children. I was given up to my great aunt and uncle by marriage when I was 9 months old. I was told that one day when my biological mother came to pick me up and because she left me with Nettie and Dee for long periods of time Nettie jokingly told her that maybe she should just give me to them ..... and the next week she brought me with all my stuff and gave me to Nettie and Dee.. She left me with them when Nettie was 40 years old and Dee was 51. Now here I sit at 46 years old and I see the sacrifice that they made taking me in at that late in the game. They didn't have to take me ...they just did ... they stepped up to a plate that two people have walked away from.... they took me kindergarten and bought me not one but two pony's. We lived on a 99 acre farm. We went on vacations and went fishing and we went to church ..... I played Mary in the Christmas plays .... so much normal it would scare you.Now we weren't perfect, but it was a great childhood with two parents that loved me. My mother hand washed my clothes and taught me to tell time. We would work in the garden together. When mom would can pears she had to do it as fast as possible because I would eat them so fast it wasn't even funny. I remember one year my mother had waited 7 years for her peony bush to bloom and it finally did, one single bloom and I was around 4 years old and I remember picking that flower and running around the back of the house to hide because I knew I had done wrong. I remember her being upset but hugging me and telling me that it was just a flower and that I meant more to her than that silly flower. She loved me with out bounds even through my teenage years. In 82 my father Dee died of a massive heart attack .... I worried that she would go with him .... but then a couple of years later mom met Chester Bly and her stood by mom til she passed in 2002. She was an awesome mother and to my kids she was a blessing to be my kids Memaw. She met my husband only once when she was in the hospital and she asked him if he was going to take care of her little girl ... my husband said yes and a few days later my mother when to be with the Lord. So be thankful this Mothers day if you have the blessing of going to your mother and hugging her ...placing a kiss on her cheek ....taking her to lunch... because for some of us .... its flowers and a one sided conversation at the grave yard..... and a void in our heart that will only be filled when we

join her in heaven one day. I love you mom and I miss you every day and I a grateful for the sacrifice you made to take care of a little girl who had no one.https://www.facebook.com/

Mental health ...Are doctors just guessing?

Every since I can remember I have fought this thing inside of me. I always thought of it as a bear. Sometimes this bear is sweet and loving.I am always aware of his presence but when he is in this loving quite mood this is when I am the happiest.These are the times that I can live a semi normal life. Then there are days the bear demands a little of my short attention span. He needs to be petting this is where it feels like he is leaning on me. He doesnt demand all my attention but he does demand some. These days I feel pressure but I can juggle the bear and the world with a little effort on my part. Then there are  days while I am working or talking to people he is smacking me in the face constantly. Roaring in my ear to the point I almost cant hear anything or fully fuction. There have been times the bear demand that I go be alone so that he can have all my attention. I have actually lost a good job due to this last phase. This is how my anxiety feels. When I was young I could endure it. My mother and father thought it was cute that I danced beside the dinner table while I ate. When I was a kid we were just labeled "High Energy Children" Hell I didnt even know what it was back then. I thought every kid was this way, but as I grew I realized that I was very different. My main problem was I talked too much ...I could not be still. I over talked other kids which made them mad and so this threw me out of main stream kids and into the rejected sector ..... but still as a kids you endure... you cry it out and move on. School work was a nightmare for me.Most of the time I could read a page in my school book and look up and couldnt tell you one word of what I read. I could really study the night before but sometimes the noise in my head would be so loud that I couldnt remember anything I studied so that also slated where my future was headed. So my self esteem was taking a nosedive and this links into all the bad relationships I have suffered. At first people think I am super neat...loud and fast paced ... always up for the next thing .... love doing things that where a dare or dangerous ..... but then the extreme of me would wear down for them .... I was never that friend that would call you to see how you were doing ...you always had to call me because for the most I would be so busy in my own head I couldnt even entertain anybody elses world ... thats how I lost so many friends and the ones that would stay with me were as broken a human being as I was. I lost one of my oldest friends because she finally got tired of my "time outs" when I go into what I call time out I dont talk to any one I ignore calls. I have even hid while friends knocked on my door to check on me .This also entered into boyfriends and husbands ...they all thought I was this neat little wild animal some of the guys after looking back I see they took me as a challenge something that just needed to be broken  ..tamed .... they thought they could "cage"the bear. My first husband tried his best to subdue this beast with only a divorce to show for it. I fought this through two kids .... I remember fighting off a panic attack at my daughters field day.... I suceeded because I so didnt want to embarrass my daughter and show her friends that her mother was mentally defective. I have always felt like it was always 0 or 100 with me ....I would be complete "on" or I taught myself how to just shut her ....so for a large part of my kids growning up I was never that involved mother because I was always in fear that the monster in me might poke its head out and cause my children problems at school. So I worked as much as I could using that excuse to keep me out of school functions ....every once in a great while I would have to go in and pretend to have it all togeather and for the most I would suceed ...it was exhasting ... it always felt as though I was holding the full weight of that bear back. Work that is the one place that the bear worked for me and not agaisnt me. I had so much energy.... so much drive everything for me was a challenge ...a race .... a compotistion. I was always compeating with people even if they were not aware of it. I would work harder .... I would work more hours than anyone else ... I would take on way more respondsiblity that I should but it always made me a valued employee. Somehow I used to always sleep well and up to about 2 years ago that was my one saving grace was I could sleep at the drop of a hat. I have gone to my doctor for help .... he has ran me through many different anti depression meds ...Zoloft ....Prozac.....Paxal .... It feels as though it doesnt subdue the bear .... but it destracts him a little but never enough to make it worth the side effects of the drugs ... I was just took off anoughter shot at Zoloft because I was breaking out in hives that were making me itch myself til I bled . I talked to my doctor about maybe this being Adult attention disorder but he dismissed it ...sometimes I think its because so many people who dont have the problem want the drug because its effect on them is like crack so all theses people end up pretending to have Adult attention disorder to get the meds and then it makes it impossible for people like me who might actually have it get treated for it ...or even checked. Now here I amin my mid 40's and I dont have the phyiscal energy to keep up witht the bear and this is making the anxiety so much worse.What a mad mad world we live in.So as for now my bear still roams free .... not that I ever wanted him caged but I would like a life where both of us could live in peace.

Jessica Dee Hoover Aug.19 1985 - Sept 7th 1985

Sometime in the month of Feb 1985 I became pregnant with my first child. I remember it was my fiance Jimmy and my brother Kenneth were at the clinic with me ...I came outside where they were standing and told them the good news. Jimmy was so happy. I didn't want to get married at this point even though we were in the middle of planning our wedding this came about. I didn't want it to look like we had to get married so I called off the wedding ...but after a couple of months Jimmy talked me into it because he so wanted our child to have his last name...at about 4 months pregnant we got married southern style in front of a judge with his sister and her boyfriend as witnesses. The bride wore a blue sundress because it was big enough. I wore blue cameo earrings that I still have to this day. That were borrowed from his grandmother. We came home and he went fishing and I started cooking dinner. I was about 6 months pregnant ....and the pregnancy felt weird.....I had this strange feeling that something was wrong with the baby. Everyone told me that I was just worried and its was just first time pregnancy pains. I tried to put it out of my mine but that weird feeling never left me. about 10:00 on August the 18th I went to the bathroom and felt some kind of leakage happening. I told Jimmy that we needed to go to the hospital that something wasn't right. Jimmy was so excited that the baby was coming it was dawning on him that she was coming 3 months too early. They did all they could to stop the contractions but the baby was in distress and they rushed me to a hospital Vanderbilt Medical hospital in Nashville Tennessee and there Jessica Dee Hoover was born at 7:15 that morning she weighed in at 3 pounds and 2 ounces. She has blood on the brain. She had Jaundice. She had a virus called the CMV Virus. Its simple ...I caught a cold and its like a 1 in 10,000 chance that she could catch it but ...she did and it did a lot of damage to my little girl. It was hard to grip how tiny she was. Jimmy could hold her in one of his big hands. Here we were two kids ...not only having a kid but I premature one. My world spun out of control. I prayed even when doctors took me into their office and told me there was no hope for her. Here health during this time would improve and then decline ...it was a nightmare roller coaster that I couldn't get off and I had to hold my head up high and know that God had this. I stayed in the hospital for 2 weeks. They took blood ...so much blood and ran test on me. You see Jessica was one of 7 kids that had contracted this virus and they weren't understanding it fulling so they were running every test know to man on me and my little girl trying to beat a ticking time bomb which was going to be my daughters death. on the 9th day of my stay I was walking down one of the halls trying to get my strenght back and I heard a voice I cant tell you either in my head but it sound just like hearing a person talk to you... and it told me that my daughter was going to leave me and that it was o.k. That it was the way thinks where supposed to work out. I stepped back ...I thought it was my own minds voice or maybe the devil trying to make me lose my faith... but at that moment I was ashamed that I even entertain an idea like that .....but I later I figured that it had to be God preparing me for my daughters departure. One Sept.7th 1985 my daughter left this world. to perfect for the sin of this world she went back to be with her father and there she wait for me and one day I will see her again and I will hold her in my arms and she will call my name "Mommy". I still have a void in my soul where she firs perfectly. I know the Lord has a plan for this ....for it to make me stronger for it to make me love my daughter Heather and my son Taylor more than I would have without her. She is in this little box in my heart and every now and again I get it out and I remember every smile and sound she made and the way she felt in my arms and how her little heart would just race when she would her her fathers voice and how blessed I was to have her in my life if only for a brief moment it was one of the best moments of my my life and nothing in this world will ever come close to it. I held on to a real angel and it was amazing and scary and I would do it again all over again just hold her again.

Husband Grooming

Yes ... you read that right Spouse Grooming, Its when a "friend" "Co-Worker" Set into being everything you as their Wife/Husband are not. They take time to listen to your spouse because innocently they will tell these people all their marrige problems then the Groomers will figure out what is missing or lacking in your marriage then they slowly talk to your spouse and slowly morph into that person your are failing to be. The conversation also always head innocently into a sexual nature and his is when the Groomergets to innocently tell your spouse all the great things that they can do for them sexually and from where they have sat and listening to all the lacking points of your marriage can totally get big points in this area .... but once they have brooched the subject both parties usually knows where this relationship is headed.
Sometimes its just a game people play without any intent of hooking up with them sometimes its just the high of getting attention from someone .... but sometimes these Grooming sessions end marriages.

Let me explain to you ..... My husbands ex-girfriend reconnected with both of us around our 8th year of marriage. My husband even asked if it was o.k. if she was friends with us. I being a full believer in trust, said yes. Fully convident that my husband would never cheat on me. This ran into her coming to a huge Halloween bash that I throw every year and us being invited to her kids birthday parties. I thought that things were going along just great.Not that we were besties or anything but they seemed o.k. Now here is where the red flags popped and I ignored them (Note: never ignore red flag) She ended up without a job and my husband and I worked at the same place and once again my husband asked me would I mind if he asked my boss if they had a job for her and once again.... I said "Sure" Well that is where this little nightmare begins. It stared with the fact that she was working third shift and I was working dayshift and my husand kinda hit right in between. So if my husband had to stay late enough which was a couple of nights a week they would sit at the picnic table and talk. I am sure that my husband talked to her about how our marriage had changed since the wreck. (Had a wreak about 5 years ago almost died took along recovery time) So this girl  K.C was grooming herself to be the girl that I wasnt to my husband...please dont get this broken I blame both partys takes two to dance this dance. But as I would come in to work she would constainly tell me that she either talk to my husband or facebooked him or texted him and all red flags but the one that had the brightest red light was when she poked me and told me if I ever needed help with him *wink*  *wink* she would be there for me. I told my husband all of this and he asked if I wanted him to quit talking to her.... but I didnt want to sound jealous I said no .... (Dumb move again)  Well the year rolled on her family attended our Halloween party and Christmas came and went ... We got her a candleholder and candle and she got us bath towel and a candle ...these gifts will matter later. My husband had accumulated too many vacation days at work so for about three weeks he was going to have to take Monday and Tuesday off for the next three weeks. The first Monday I came home from work and there was my loving husband .... I asked him how was his day off ....what did you end up doing I asked ....nothing he responded , I told him 

that was exactly what a vacation day was for.. When in fact my husband had went out to eat lunch with K.C. and she had to give him the hat she bought him for Christmas  .... their lunch date was on April the 11th 2012. I came home on Wednesday of that week and my husband of 9 years informs me that she has given him a hat and it was a Christmas present. I asked "Why is she giving you a Christmas present we have already done Christmas....Then he informs me that its because he made her a braclet to go with a necklace that she already had. .... The he lowered the lunch date on me. I blew up seven way of Sunday he said he didnt tell me because he knew I would get angry.... Really?  Now .... let me tell you ladies ... and some will argue but you trust me second marriage trusted both of them to the max and have been served my ass on a platter both times .... if your wife has a male friend or your husband has a female friend..... almost always there is one party in that pair that wants the other ..... your husband or wife might be the one wanting or maybe they are the one wanted.... but it starts slowly and some even innocently were neither of them knew they had feeling .... but one of them will start turning into the spouse that you are not and they can because they dont have to be that person all the time ...just the few minutes or hour that they get to spend with the person you love, Then all of a sudden you get that speach of how its not you or anything you did ....they didnt mean for it to happen......it just happened ...no my friends it doesnt  JUST happen ......it grows slowly and its called emotional cheating and honest to me its worse that phyical cheating because ...the heart is involved. This happens in factories and  cubicles all around the world and ....you the spouse are caught off guard. So if the spouse is dressing better or putting on cologne/perfume when he/she used to not ...... Realize that this is a "RED FLAG" and that your marriage is in jeapory. If it wasnt for my husbands conscience ....I always wonder where that relationship might have gone. My husband and I are still in the beginnings of trying to even figure out if this is worth saving. I have never had something hurt me so deeply and emotionally. Be careful of the women/men  married or not that standing or touching your spouse too much. Attached men have no need to hang out with married or single women As do attached women have no reason to hang out with married or single men. You are just asking for trouble and any desent man or woman  know this. Eyes open ladies/Gentlemen ....from me to you ....

George Foreman Mind blower

Hi .... today's blog is going to be titled "The George Foreman Grill Mind blower" I am always looking for ways that get me the heck out of the kitchen. Just because I was born with "Lady Parts" did not make me a automatic chef. I have never had a natural desire to cook. With that said I am going to share with you something so simple ...but every time I tell someone about it ...they freak out on me .... like wow that's is awesome!! Why in the world didn't I think of that. So I thought it was time to blog it ...Pin it and face book this for the people out there that not only hate to cook but hate to clean as
well. First you need a George Foreman Grill ...

 any size .... this is one of those times that size really doesn't matter. As you can see mine gets alot of use.

Now you are going to need some Tin Foil. I use Reynolds Wrap because it is thicker.



You pull off enough tin foil to cover the bottom and top of your grill

Meat on foil

 Season it or not

Now here is a freebie that I am going to throw out there just because of the good human being that I am. See that black tray in the picture above .... Well place that under the food "BEFORE" you start cooking so it can go ahead and catch all the grease and juices before they run all over the counter and make a total mess and make you say words that you have to pray about later!!!

                         Place your other piece of foil on top of this and pull lid down as usual.

                       Few minutes later food is hopefully not fatal and can be consumed

(It will be hot so please handle with caution)

Chicken on platter wad up tin foil and throw away

And low and behold most of the time you will have

a clean grill that you might have to wipe down with a rag.

Most of the time it will be totally clean.

Unattached Parenting

When I first became a parent I didn't know what in the shit I was doing.

 No one prepared me for all the gross horror that I was about to face .... the screaming for hours on end the poop that was going to end up on my hands sometime my face and even once in my hair. I will also admit that there were times I didn't even want to be around my own child. Not because I didn't love her but because when my kids where little people expected you to actually raise your own kid. We didn't hand them to grandma or sister or babysitter ... ex-husbands were not as many back then.... the world really thought that you "The Parent" should rear their own offspring.

No lets address the reason for this post.

 Last week I decided to take my nephew Frederick (age 6) and my son Taylor (age 15) to go and check out the new "Kids Castle" that they had re-vamped in our neighborhood and bonus I would get to  shoot some overdue photos of my boys. We tried out everything swings, slides, flying saucers and even a grasshopper ride. Then as I stood there trying to watch them play tag this little girl came up and tugged on my pants leg and in the cutest 4 year old voice and insisted that I  "Watch This!!"  and she jumped up and down on stair steps then she proceeded to show me that she could dance followed by how far she could jump....she asked me to watch her slide down the slide and as she was climbing the tower I searched the playground area for her mother ... the little girl was about four and Hispanic so I figured young Hispanic mother or father.  I glanced over all the parents there was only one young Hispanic woman and she was sitting on a bench doing something on her phone ..... soon as I laid eyes on what I believed to be the little girls mother I heard the little girl yell at me to watch .... I yelled back that I was watching and looked back at mom she didn't even notice..... so I watched her slide down the slide laughing having a ball I switched back and forth watching this little girl and my nephew for the good bit of an hour and ever so often looking at the lady on the bench and in this stretch of 55 or so minutes she never so much as looked up once this making me start to doubt that this was the little girls mother... so I start looking at the other mothers and fathers and what struck me was that 6 of the 13 parents that were there that day were totally not watching their kids they were sitting on the benches and the picnic tables updating their face book, checking emails or texting ....and most of these parents to kids that were under 6 years old. Then I looked back to find my nephew and I saw the little girl at the Hispanic lady asking for something to drink and without taking her eyes off her phone she spoke something to the little girl and the little girl  got a juice out of her mothers purse took a drink and ran back out to the swings.


I hear all these people that are grossed out at the attachment parenting which yes some of that stuff is way too far out there for me. I have to bring light to the "Unattached Parent"   .... Parents that would rather be texting or on Face book ....hanging out with friends,  anything but spending real one on one time with their kid(s). I have a friend that is the poster child for "Unattached Parent" She is always one the phone  ...in between work and friends and her new boyfriend her daughter is lucky to get 20 hours with her a week and even when they are together she has her in front of a T.V. or her video game so that she doesn't have to actually spend time with her.... does that sound familiar? If it does its time to start reprioritizing your life and what is most important and planned or a How they hell did that happen well guess what it is your responsibility to raise these little human being .... more than providing them things, they also need your time and teachings of the "wrongs" and "rights" and to guide them through this life that is so much harder than it was 20-30 years ago ... they need you more than I needed my parents back in the early 70's. Stop for a moment ...take them to the Park or to the Zoo .....  and leave your phone in the car ....I hate to break this to you guys but back in the day we didn't have cell phones and people actually went for hours not talking or texting people constantly. I think these sweet little angels deserve your time and attention. Be present in your child's life. You chose to be a parent ...they had no choice in being your child. So thats it for this post I hope to enlighten one parent before they wake up one day and their kid is either grown and dont want anything to do with them or they are having to vist time in prison because honestly they didnt get enough hugs from mommy and daddy. Grow up and be the parent your child need, wants and deserves.

Hi .... today's blog is going to be titled "The George Foreman Grill Mind blower" I am always looking for ways that get me the heck out of the kitchen. Just because I was born with "Lady Parts" did not make me a automatic chef. I have never had a natural desire to cook. With that said I am going to share with you something so simple ...but every time I tell someone about it ...they freak out on me .... like wow that's is awesome!! Why in the world didn't I think of that. So I thought it was time to blog it ...Pin it and face book this for the people out there that not only hate to cook but hate to clean as well. First you need a George Foreman Grill ...

                                  Any size .... this is one of those times that size really doesn't matter. As
                                                    you can see mine gets alot of use.

Now you are going to need some Tin Foil. I use Reynolds Wrap because it is thicker.That helps when you are getting meat off of the tin foil.



                           You pull off enough tin foil to cover the bottom and top of your grill

Meat on foil

 Season it or not

Now here is a freebie that I am going to throw out there just because of thegood human being that I am. See that black tray in the picture above .... Well place that under the food "BEFORE" you start cooking so it can go ahead and catch all the grease and juices BEFORE
 they run all over the counter and make a total mess and make you say words that you have to pray about later!!!

                                             



                    Place your other piece of foil on top of this and pull lid down as usual.

                                           Few minutes later food is hopefully not fatal
                                                            and can be consumed

(It will be hot so please handle with caution)

Chicken on platter. Wad up tin foil and throw away.

And low and behold most of the time you will have

a clean grill that you might have to wipe down with a rag.

Most of the time it will be totally (Sorta) clean.

Thank you and God speed!!

Cell phones and your kids

I know that I am going to catch alot of heck for what I am about to write ... but I dont write in this blog to please people or to get people to vist my website. I write in this blog either because I think something is funny,sad, cute  ...or something has pissed me off and I feel that I need to share it with the world. I think most of the time that the world his headed to hell in a hand basket and there isnt a damn thing we can do to turn it around ... Well todays topic is ....(drum roll please) kids and what is too young to have a cell phone. I was reading on CafeMom and this mom Becky posted:

11yo talking about sex on cell phone?

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I have talked to my 11 year old daughter about sex before. About abstinance, disease, pregnancy and all that, but the other day, i saw a text on her phone that made me realize that that her and a boy were having a conversation about sex, and i'm having a hard time with what i should say to her about it. I asked her what the conversation was about, and she told me that this boy told her that he had been having "wierd" thoughts about her, like of them making out and stuff. She says she has not done anything, but i am looking for advise about what to say to her, how to react without overreacting. She is my only child, so i haven't had to deal with anything like this before...HELP!

Now lets stop right there.... Why in Gods name does an 11 year old child have a cell phone? I think we put that internet into these young childrens hands with the thought that everyones kids have a cell phone. I feel they would be safer if they have a cell phone .... and then the one that drives me to cuss...parents that feel they have equpped their child with a cell phone sitter and they dont have to worry about them. at 11 years old I always knew where my kids where...they were either with me or at school or with a family member. I didnt need to call my eleven year old because 90% of the time they were with me and if not I had the number of the person that I deemed worthy enough to watch my kids. We go to a rather large church and one Wednesday night my son who was 14 years old at the time was being made fun of by a 6 year old because she had a cell phone and my son did not. Really? Wow!!   I believe fully that we are throwing an adult world at these kids and they are not ready for it nor God gave these kids dont want to parent anymore and they have found this really neat device that lets them do what ever they want and they feel their kids are safe ....or they hand them to them because if they dont then their kid will be ousted and no one will like themat school....let me tell you my son is now 15 and 1/2 years old and finally last month he recieved my old cell phone and he only has talk and text and believe you me it is checked on an almost daily shedule ....parnets grow a pair and be a real parent, It isnt being your kids friend ...they have friends they need a parent that shows them right and wrong and shields them from things they are not old enough for.

Kid Free businesses

I heard of all these businesses that are going kid free. Then I heard all the breeders (non active parents) start cranking up about how much these business owners must be kid hater.  That you should  never step foot in there establishments. This made me laugh it was so misunderstood. Then this week not only are people stepping foot in these businesses they are gaining business..... Kid free restraunts, kid free theatres, even " kid free" cruises. Cue: breeders scratching heads and organizing internet mobs. What parents of today's spoiled, undisciplined children don't get is that it isn't the kids we hate .....IT IS YOU we hate! Understand,  if you don't get nothing else from this piece.... your kids we feel the utmost pity for. Being saddled with lazy, unresponsible parents such as yourself ...you either are too lazy to make your kids mind .. or just stupid if you think that letting them "Do their own thing" is a great choice of parenting. I think most parents today are the first kind .... I think they are kids themselves. I think they had kids because either they were copying their friends  or their parents begged and begged for grand kids, so they just joined a cult I refer to as  Breeders... now at first this was awesome they had this little being that even though they pooped and peed themselves .... they netted the parents bookoo's of attention and this probably lasted til 2 years old. Then this child need a parent. A grown-up if you will to teach them how to act and behave. Now back in the day this was doable.... parents were strong enough to take the time and patience to school their young in the lessons that would teach them to be viable human beings. The today parent is way to busy playing on the Internet ...pinning.....posting and liking other useless parents Facebook profiles..they are too busy leaving their kids with anyone that will watch them while they go shopping ...getting nails done ...tanning or getting drunk with the boy or golfing anything to escape the responsibility of raising ones young. If they do have to actually spend time with these little snot bubbles they buy them way too many toys and most of these toys are what I call "distraction toys" they are to distract the child away from needing anything from the parents that is why their are 2 billion kids out there that would rather play Call of Duty than to go out to the lake for the day. Now you sit and wonder why oh why do all these mean people hate my kids ....well they don't they honestly hate your lack of parenting skills. The way you sit there and let your kids run around these eating establishments without so much as a word. You hold these 2 year old and let them scream non stop for a spand of 20 minutes til you make me want to walk up and take the child from you and see what in the world is wrong with it. The correct thing is to take your child if you cant get them to stop crying outside and away from people that are trying to enjoy a night out. Once the child is under control you come back in ...if they are running and acting up ...1st time you take them to the bathroom and explain what will happen if they act up again ..2nd time you follow through with punishment. Now back in my day that was a spanking but now I think its a strong talking to. But if you cant make your child mind then you might want to think about eating at home .... watching netflix  ..... You have to parent people its not optional. Its a requirement. Its gotten sobad that they are throwing you and your kid out of places that has to tell you something.

BEFORE YOU GIVE ME UP

How do you begin a story? A story that is so important for any mother who wants to give up her child. Maybe it’s the right thing for you to do? I don’t know but all I do know is the other side . We have all heard the mothers side what was the best for the child…or that they forced her into it. But this blog post is the other side of the coin. This is the story of a grown woman looking back at the years of mistakes that all hinged on feeling unwanted, unloved and discarded by the most important person in her life . What I couldn't get was ...what was so bad that my own mother didn't want me. My entire life has been haunted by that question. even knowing that it was the factor that made me invite so much bad into my life and never understand why.

Until now

I am not going to do the my name is thing …because I know there are more stories out there untold and unnamed. But when I was 9 months old I was given up from my mother to her uncle by marriage sister and her husband and if you can grasp the dynamics of that a blessing has already been prayed for you. My adoption or whatever you want to call it was odd at the very least.It was 1967 and my real bio mom had 4 kids . This included My oldest brother Bobby my middle brother Kenneth and my youngest brother Tim and then there was the baby girl. (I was cute I seen pictures).

Sometime that year my real mom was dropping me off while she worked. Now when I say she dropped me off I mean for a week or two at a time.

Then one day she came to pick me up and and my great aunt Nettie (Mom) Jokingly stated that as much as I stayed there ..that Gladsy should just give me to Nettie. Nothing got said on that day but the next time she brought me to Nettie she brought all my clothes and toys and GAVE me to her. Nettie was confused but thrilled because my uncle Dee(Dad) and Nettie couldn't have kids and thought it a Gods blessing that I came into there lives. But no matter how you colored it folks its still tainted with the fact that she just walked away from me.

But anyway that’s my story how in one swift moment not old enough to even realize how my life was changed forever. Nettie and Dee where in there mid 40’s and 50’s when I was dropped into their lives. I know they never even dreamed this late in the game that they would be raising a little girl. But these great people stepped up and did the greatest job in the world they loved me. I grew up knowing them both none other than mom and dad because that's what they were. I remember mom telling me that when I was little that if anyone got loud for any reason I would freak out and that we went on a trip to West Virgina and that she had just started potty me and that every time she would check me to see if I was wet I would freak out my mom firmly believed that during those first 9 months I had been around a lot of fighting and that maybe even abused. But this is the moment that I am a blessed child for being given up, God only knows what would have happened to me if my mother had kept me. Growing up with Nettie and Dee was like something made up in a book. I lived on a 99 acre farm in Middle Tennessee. My dad ran a pig farm and my mom was a stay at home mother. I remember having every animal imaginable and helping my parents feed animals, help tend a garden every year and following my father like a little puppy. It wasnt totally perfect but it was so damn close it was scary. As I look back on things now I saw that everything I did hinged on a "not good enough" feeling.....everything ... I let teacher treat me horrible and wouldnt tell my parents because I felt it was my fault. I took abuse from friends because the minute I told them the story of how I was adopted the temp in the room changed and I became the freak that everyone made fun of. I even remember a rumor that went around that my real mother was a hooker. I didnt even know what a hooker was in the 4th grade. This set the tone for 4 years of abuse at the hands of some "christian" children. I finally reached highschool..... boys suddenly became a very important subject..... but I stayed to myself but I wasnt horrible looking and I got attention from boys all the same but it wasnt the right kind of attention. I had a few boyfriends but due to the fact I didnt feel my own self worth they didnt either so they would cheat on me ...or just leave me. This is when I met my bestfriends brother. His name was Jimmy and even though at 16 years of age he didnt know it .... he was a control freak and an abuser...but he arrived saying all the right words and I was just swept away....I fell in love (remember I said that "I" fell in love) I thought that all was perfect that finally someone loved me for me and we would start a family and it would be my own and I could just put the nightmare of my mother giving me up far far behind me. I had just wrangled me a new nightmare because for the next 12 years I was abused .... mentally abused and he was always telling me that he was going to run away with our 2 year old daughter if I ever did anything that remotely looked like I was going to leave him. The life that I lead with that man actually killed some of my soul ...yes I really believe that . I finally left him after one night of him kidnapping me and beating me. He almost bit ...yes I said bit my nose off my face and I asked why and he told me he figured that if he did it then no one else would ever want me. that if he couldnt have me then no one else would. it took another 4 years of him stalking and sitting out side my new home with a gun...taping my phone calls...before I finally met and married my second husband Robert and he finally went away...... these timelines with the abusive husbands shouldnt have took so long but I had no self esteem ... my whole life revolved around the fact that every day I heard this little child like voice inside me that was always saying..... wow you own mother didnt want you what would make you think that anyone else would...better stay with him...there wont be another ...do you want to live alone for the rest of your life and what if he takes Heather and runs....what would you have then..... by this time Jimmy had run all my friends and family away and he and heather were all that I had. Still i realized that not only my exhusband...but bosses, friends, I alway and sometimes still do look down like I am not worth being in peoples way....even though I loved Nettie and Dee with all that I am ... I always felt as though I was a burden on them. I still feel that way today that I am a burden on anyone that is around me. I know that at some point I will have to sit down with someone that can help me deal with all this .... but Ladies you do need to know that instead of taking the easy road..... abortion or adoption you are so important in that little babys life....and if you tell yourself that you are doing the best for the baby your wrong you are doing what is best for you and trying to bullshit yourself into living with the mistake that you created.

The Wreck

This is my story that my family has always referred to it as "the wreck". The night that changed everything . I tired to just put this behind me. I cant let go of the feeling that someone needs to read this and learn from my nightmare.



so here goes



The night my life took a dramatic left turn ....didn't seem any different than any other. No one felt something strange or had a dream. There was no prewarning of any kind ....no weird feelings. I had a friend of mine come in from Arkansas . We had thrown a party for her on the 14th. I wanted all her friends to come to my house so that she wouldn't have to run herself to death making separate visits. I did another party on the 15th because the night before I had to leave in the middle of the party to go to work... I worked 3rd shift ... so I threw the second party pretty much so I could spend some time with her myself. I got about 3 people to show .... about 8:30 my daughter Heather reminded me that I needed to head up to the store for some cigarette's and soda ... I keep putting her off and finally I told her to come on and lets get it done before she drove me nuts and about that time Taylor my 10 year old came running out screaming shotgun .... most of the time I let Taylor ride shotgun because with his sister being 10 years older than him it made him feel like a big boy. This night I told him no. If he was coming he would have to ride in the backseat and he darted in the backseat without another word. I told the girls to hold the fort down and we would be right back..... well I would love to tell you something about that 6 minute ride that leads us up to the little gas station where this thing takes place but there is only a faint memory of Taylor and Heather picking at one another, there was some laughter and I remember seeing the store right before the traffic light and that was all I remember. We went to go through the green light. Heather was driving. I was on the passenger side. Taylor right behind me. We were T-boned by a Nissan Frontier. A man named Johnathan Finley had hit us doing about 60 miles an hour. He had just left Nissan Motor Manufacturing where he worked 3rd shift. He went to ask for the night off and got it (Later ask me why he asked for the night off). After he hit us a gentleman said that Mr. Finley drove away from the wreck to the gas station that we were headed to he said that he ran up to Mr. Finely to see if he was o.k. and Mr. finely told him that " You didn't see a f**king thing" and went to drive off from the scene. At that very moment a cop that was pulling in to check on the store was probably the only thing that kept him driving off and leaving the scene. He hit us on my side it knocked all three of us out .... By the time Heather came to the EMT where already there trying to figure out what they were going to do with us. Heather said that she at first thought that there were diamonds falling out of her hair when she first opened her eyes ....its wasn't diamonds .. it was glass she said that she looked over and both me and Taylor were covered in blood and knocked out. Heather said that she thought at first that she had done something and it had killed her mother and her brother. later someone told her that it was a drunk driver that had caused all this mess. Heather walked around in a daze with just one flip flop on watching them work on her brother and I. They finally got me together and life flighted me to Vanderbilt Medical Center in Nashville Tennessee. Its like a 25 minute drive from my house to this hospital but apparently I needed to get there a little faster. They took Taylor to a hospital in Murfreesboro about 7-8 miles from the wreck and after they examined him they were afraid he had brain damage so they life flighted him to Vanderbilt .. no brain damage ...but he ended up with 8 staples in his right arm lots of bruising Taylor stayed in the hospital for 5 days. Heather ended up with a sprained ankle and cuts and bruising so after day 5 Taylor went home with his sister. Heather took care of Taylor ...while Robert my husband and my father-in-law Dan stayed at the hospital with me. I wasn't as lucky as my two kids .... I thank the Lord that I didn't give Taylor shotgun because I don't think my sons 10 year old little body would have faired as well if he had sat in that front seat. I don't know how well I faired ... I was rushed into emergency surgery. I had internal bleeding, It had broke my collar bone and my pelvis bone and they had to remove my spleen. They placed me in a drug induced coma (If you wanna hear about the coma dream check look up Coma dream on my blog) They couldn't get me to come out of my coma and that was a concern for a while so they put a trac in my throat because that tube that goes down your throat that you see in the movies is supposed to be a very temporary thing when it goes on for more than 3 days they swap to a trac yeah I was in really bad shape. . now for the 8 days the doctors were presented with a entirely new problem. My stomach incision wouldn't stay closed they tried 3 times to close me and it would just pop back due to all the swelling I had going on. Well finally day 11 I came out of the coma ..... I remember not having any idea what was going one but that whatever it was it hurt like nothing I had ever felt before. Robert informed me that first the kids were o.k. that they had gotten pretty good banged up but were both at home. He told me that it was a drunk driver that had hit us ... there were moments at the beginning that I thought that this was still part of the dream i was dreaming in the coma... but my body day by day insisted that it was anything but a dream. I couldnt talk because of the trac and it was taking a little while for my brian to remember basic writing skills. They then packed me up and sent me to a recovery hospital for a month .... Well now that I had joined the party it was time to do something about my open wound .....

Now let me introduce you to the awesome quicker fixer-upper its called the "Wound Vac" Best way that I can explain the wonderful piece of medical hardware is they for some reason you cant close a wound and its rather large then they take this industrial saran wrap and you place it over the wound all around the edges of this plastic is this super sticky stuff that seals it to your surrounding skin ...now there is a tube that going into it and the other end goes into this machine that I swear sometimes sounded like an iron lung ...but it keeps the wound clean and it would help speed up healing and gave the doctors time to figure their next move which ended up giving me the time for the swelling to go down. So they sent me home. I weighted in at 103 pounds wet. My walking was that of a crippled 90 year old. I slept in our recliner because laying down completely flat was a non happening thing. Heather was taught to clean and change my wound vac ... never thought that I would have to ask my daughter to do that for me. The home health nurse would come twice a week and make sure that Heather was doing her job properly. I had to head back to Vanderbuilt to do a skin graph to cover my still swollen tummy to finally lose that wound vac ... and the graph would be a temp fix while still waiting on the swelling to finally go all the way down ...I remember coming to in the recovery room and the nurse putting something in my I.V. as I laid there I was in the same room with a woman that had just had a kidney transplant I think... and all I could do was to thank the Lord that my problems weren't that bad and I remember praying for her. They put me into another room healing time again...this time Heather babysat her dear old mom .... Finally they sent me home. I had a fever that they could figure out what it was or what was causing it ..... but I didn't care they were sending me home at this point. I was so sick of doctors and the smell of a hospital was becoming almost as familiar as home. How horrible is that. So I figured I would just keep taking my super amped antibiotics and I would be fine. I remember thinking I finally had made it through it all that I was home with my family in my house sleeping in my recliner .....after about 5 days the fever just wasn't going away. I tried to just pretend that it didn't exist...I would paint my nails and play on the computer and pray that it would go away .... but one afternoon around 5:30 I felt a pain in my tummy and something wet running down my belly and I asked Robert to come look at it ...he didn't have to say a word but the word was that he was going to call an ambulance that my wound had busted open. I called Heather and gave her the news we were headed back to the hospital. Finally in the ER they told me that the fever was a sign of an infection in one of my staples and they were going to admit me into the hospital again til they got it under control. They might as well have told me that they were sending me to a firing squad ..... I felt defeated that I didn't have "Just one more time" in me .... so they were pumping me full of some 1000.00 a pop antibiotics and Heather would walk me down and around the halls for my exercise ....one day I went to walk out of my room for my daily stroll and there was a sign on my door that stated that anyone that entered my room had to have gown and gloves and a mask ....this was my intro to the fact that I had caught I staff infection!! WhoooHaaaa!! Help me Lord .... I remember that this was the time that they took my drainage tubes out. Finally I got over the infection and the staff infection and got to head home..... I was finally starting to get back on my feet....my daughter knew that there was no point in asking me to do normal exercise so she got me where I lived. she would take me shopping everyday...not that we would buy anything, but she counted on me getting distracted looking at stuff and I would walk for hours on hours and this is how I got back in shape... i know I would come home hurting soooo bad and I would talk a happy pill sleep all night and go do it all over again the next day. Well here it is almost 5 years later.... for the last year I have been babysitting my lil nephew Frederick for my sister-in-law. I tried to go back to work at Pillsbury but their policy was that they couldn't rehire me after something like that. I guess insurance cost and all. I pray for Mr. Fineley all the time ... I hope that whatever this is that he had learned something for it ..... I want companies to come up with some kind of guidelines for employees that come into work under the influence. That there is a standard to go by to deal with them . Either sitting them down til they sober up or a cab or even calling the police on them. My lawyer was wanting so badly to name Nissan in our law suit..they never even bothered to return calls from my lawyer. I knew that big businesses can keep you in court up to 10 year before it would ever even bother them...but a "I'm sorry we dropped the ball" would have been great. I don't know what I need to do but my hope is to get people interested in righting up guidelines to follow in case you have a visible intoxicated employee. I get aggravated at Mr. Finley because drinking and driving is a selfish act. I am more aggravated at the sober people that were around him that night and did nothing. To me that was worse. Please be involved when you see a drunk person about to get in a car ...either stop them ...if that isn't an option then call the law tell them that you just say a man (or woman) getting in a car________ headed_______and the licence plate number is ______. The reason that things like this happen to us is because Mr. Fineley's boss that night and probably several of his co-workers knew he was drunk and told themselves that it wasn't their business (he sat through a 10 minute _________ meeting before asking for the night off) They let that man walk out get into his truck and drive 4 minutes down the road and almost killed me and my kids ....... I had a boss back in the day and one of our guys came in drunk as could be he smelled of whiskey ...he wanted the night off ...my boss told him that he could leave after he finished some paperwork ...she handed he 3 hours worth of work just long enough for him to sober up before she let him leave (She took action) 6 years ago I had an accident. A girl came off the interstate ramp and ran right in front of me she had 2 kids both under the age of 2 in the back seat and she was high on prescription medication after our cars came to a stop I got out to check on her and she sped off didn't want to get busted when the cops came... I followed her for many miles her with a bust back tire running on a rim....yeah I could have stayed there til the police came but then they would have never caught her and got her help and maybe the next time the kids and her might not be as lucky ......I help the police find her and get her the help she needed ( I took action) Please the next time you see a drunk driver please step up , do the right thing and be the hero.

Parent ...Be Parents

Jan. 29th 2010

　

Subject today is going to be .....Parents who lack the tools to be effective parents..this comes to my mind because yesterday we were blessed with 2 inches of snow and around our part of the world we don't get snow much anymore so the schools close as fast as you can say boo. Well my son went in and out of the house playing in the snow, He got bored to the point he asked me to go play with him, Well either old bones or something I just couldn't take the cold like I used to and had to come in, I told him at that point that a couple of houses down was one of my sons friend and that he should go down there and get him to come play in the snow with at our house and that I would make hot chocolate my sons eyes lit up like I told him something wonderful that he had not even entertained yet...so he pulled on his jacket and hat and off he trudged in the snow to get his friend for a fun filled day of snow ....This boys father told my son that he was sorry but his son (12 years old) was spending the day with his girlfriend, o.k. ....now I have know this little boy for 7 years and I know the little girl that he claims for a girlfriend and I also know that both of her parent were at work that day....really people? Did your parents teach you nothing at all. This is were I am at a lost when these parent spout off that they had no idea how there daughters got pregnant .....Its blows my mind that I have seen 9 and 10 year old with claimed boyfriends or girlfriends....we have pushed so hard for them to be little mini adults so that we can go live our lives

and with what they see on T.V. they think that at 11 year old they are ready for sex .....PARENTS hear me even if you don't want to ...if you are not going to play the role as the parent, either don't have them or give them to childless couples that are reaching into other countries for babies. The T,V. is not the parent ...the Internet is not the parent ...YOU ARE THE PARENT! Kids are not emotional ready to be exposed to all the garbage on the Internet and T.V. Yes this means that you ..the parent will have to actually watch and discipline your child.....Maybe even spend some actual time with this little being you brought into the world but see most people don't fathom the role you took as a parent, alot of you were so wrapped up the the cute part of this being that when they got to be where they weren't as cute and actually needed you to step up as a parent....you failed them... you were poor or rich I have seen both sides just check out of the parenting role and hand it over to electronics or an older sibling that knows even less than the parents or if that child was lucky enough to have a loving aunt or grandmother ,,,but the actual parents just leave...look there isn't anything wrong with being afraid that you are going to fail this young person you are many many time but its the time you get it right that they will always remember ....but there is some wrong with being a selfish human that would much rather go get her nails done or go have beers with the boys rather than spend time with someone that needs you far worse and in the end the relationship will be a blessing to you both...The other day I was watching T.V. and they said that we were having an epic rise in teen pregnancy ....really? .....could it be because you are not keeping your young girls and boys close enough to you that you just don't know what they are doing? I think that most kids are being left at home at way too young of an age sometime just to save money on a babysitter....

Then there is the cell phone issue I see kids as young as 7 and 8 year olds with cell phones and I have noticed that parents have took this device and assured themselves that if that child has a cell phone that they are safe no matter where they go....Really people? It would take a child molester two seconds to talk that kid out of that cell phone ...but its one of the safety blinders that parents put up on themselves so they don't have to parent....I don't think that cell phones are bad...I do think it wrong to let your 8 year old daughter run all over the neighborhood with one while you sit at a friends house blindly thinking that the money you forked out for that phone for little Suzy is going to keep her safe from harm while you hang out with friends...

.

Just because they are old enough to make grilled cheese does not make them old enough to be by themselves. I think that the world has demanded that people work way too many hours that they wont sacrifice their gym membership or their weekly massage. They let their own kids pay the price and when the child end up doing something wrong or pregnancy at 14 these parents have had their head in the sand so long that they are like "What?" .... Really parents deep down I know you aren't that ignorant of this ...you are just selfish....and that can be changed ....but only by you that childs parent

　

I think its time to back up and do damage control....

number one is ...you don't have to be a parent...no matter what parents or friends with kids pressure you to do ...there is no rule that states you have to bear children.

number two ...if you are already a parent and you feel that fight or flight emotion there is shame with getting help from professionals or even the people who have walked that road before.

number three if you are just a selfish person ...then it really is time to see a professional ... because you are only damaging yourself and you child

number four admit that you are human just like everyone else

number five consider that giving up some of your activities might be the way to go ...that child is only yours for MAYBE 20 years (If you are really lucky) ....chances are you are going to outlive the stay so have your fun after they move out ...its a small price to pay.

Black Friday FlashBacks

Black Friday ..... for most people there is an air of tradition ..you know the getting up early or not going to bed at all ... all the sales papers sprayed out over then kitchen table. A paper with the hopefully mapped out morning of two or three different stores you want to hit and then breakfast. The standing in line talking to people you don't know about the deals and the dangers of cutting line....

　

and then there is my view,

　

I am sure that mine in not in the majority of views on the marvelous blessed day....here goes my one and only Tale of "THE BLACK FRIDAY OF DEATH".

Number #1 they wake me at 2:30 so that we can get dressed so that

Number #2 we can go stand in line for 2 solid hours in some butt freaking cold ass weather.


Now you need to realize this before all else. I am pissed that you woke me after only 4 and a half hours sleep ... now I am freezing and in line with people that I don't know. These people seem to be overly perky and all I can do at this point is glare at them. I spend the next two hours listening to my friend tell everybody 10 up the line and 10 behind us that I am not a morning person..... then there are cops ... yes real cops on horses clopping up and down the line making sure that a fight doesn't break out over cutting line...(OVER CUTTING LINE)

　

This real weird fever goes down the line when they see 3 or 4 target workers start walking around the front doors..... then after what seems like a forever time of teasing us they open the doors. They never make eye contact they just open and run..... that's when I noticed that they have the buggy's in two rows. They also have a row of orange cones in the middle like its some kind of line ... at first I start walking at a normal pace and I notice that the people in front of me start to 'fast pace walk. Then it slowly turns into a trot and before I know it they are running so start this slow run too because if I didn't I feared being trampled to death by those soccer moms hopped up on Ritalin with those too wide eyes and hands placed lightly on my back silently telling me that if I don't pick up the pace the herd was going to leave me behind ... so for survival sake I begin a slow run.... praying not to trip over any cone or piss anyone off. I get to the end of this track and see all these women running and snatching thing like their lives depended on what goods they came away with..... that's when I knew it ...

　

I hate Black Friday,

　

I hate it with my soul ..... it seemed like everything that was wrong with our society .... was wrapped up right here in a really big neat bow ..... that cost more than it should, but a price that these women were willing to pay just to be part of something ...because believe you me it isn't the "deals" as they called them ..... I think I bought a portable DVD player that morning and there it was for the same price a week later.... So when someone says BLACK FRIDAY to me with them crazy eyes... I tell them to ...

　

COUNT ME OUT!!

　

There isn't anything I could imagine that would make me want to rub elbows with the straight jacket needing group that shows up for these things.... now like I say its not for me and this is my view on this great tradition, so if you have hate .... send it to someone who will appreciate it .... I will not ...in fact I don't bother reading those posts ...its just bad ju-ju ..... Happy Holidays!!