Parent ...Be Parents

Jan. 29th 2010

　

Subject today is going to be .....Parents who lack the tools to be effective parents..this comes to my mind because yesterday we were blessed with 2 inches of snow and around our part of the world we don't get snow much anymore so the schools close as fast as you can say boo. Well my son went in and out of the house playing in the snow, He got bored to the point he asked me to go play with him, Well either old bones or something I just couldn't take the cold like I used to and had to come in, I told him at that point that a couple of houses down was one of my sons friend and that he should go down there and get him to come play in the snow with at our house and that I would make hot chocolate my sons eyes lit up like I told him something wonderful that he had not even entertained yet...so he pulled on his jacket and hat and off he trudged in the snow to get his friend for a fun filled day of snow ....This boys father told my son that he was sorry but his son (12 years old) was spending the day with his girlfriend, o.k. ....now I have know this little boy for 7 years and I know the little girl that he claims for a girlfriend and I also know that both of her parent were at work that day....really people? Did your parents teach you nothing at all. This is were I am at a lost when these parent spout off that they had no idea how there daughters got pregnant .....Its blows my mind that I have seen 9 and 10 year old with claimed boyfriends or girlfriends....we have pushed so hard for them to be little mini adults so that we can go live our lives

and with what they see on T.V. they think that at 11 year old they are ready for sex .....PARENTS hear me even if you don't want to ...if you are not going to play the role as the parent, either don't have them or give them to childless couples that are reaching into other countries for babies. The T,V. is not the parent ...the Internet is not the parent ...YOU ARE THE PARENT! Kids are not emotional ready to be exposed to all the garbage on the Internet and T.V. Yes this means that you ..the parent will have to actually watch and discipline your child.....Maybe even spend some actual time with this little being you brought into the world but see most people don't fathom the role you took as a parent, alot of you were so wrapped up the the cute part of this being that when they got to be where they weren't as cute and actually needed you to step up as a parent....you failed them... you were poor or rich I have seen both sides just check out of the parenting role and hand it over to electronics or an older sibling that knows even less than the parents or if that child was lucky enough to have a loving aunt or grandmother ,,,but the actual parents just leave...look there isn't anything wrong with being afraid that you are going to fail this young person you are many many time but its the time you get it right that they will always remember ....but there is some wrong with being a selfish human that would much rather go get her nails done or go have beers with the boys rather than spend time with someone that needs you far worse and in the end the relationship will be a blessing to you both...The other day I was watching T.V. and they said that we were having an epic rise in teen pregnancy ....really? .....could it be because you are not keeping your young girls and boys close enough to you that you just don't know what they are doing? I think that most kids are being left at home at way too young of an age sometime just to save money on a babysitter....

Then there is the cell phone issue I see kids as young as 7 and 8 year olds with cell phones and I have noticed that parents have took this device and assured themselves that if that child has a cell phone that they are safe no matter where they go....Really people? It would take a child molester two seconds to talk that kid out of that cell phone ...but its one of the safety blinders that parents put up on themselves so they don't have to parent....I don't think that cell phones are bad...I do think it wrong to let your 8 year old daughter run all over the neighborhood with one while you sit at a friends house blindly thinking that the money you forked out for that phone for little Suzy is going to keep her safe from harm while you hang out with friends...

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Just because they are old enough to make grilled cheese does not make them old enough to be by themselves. I think that the world has demanded that people work way too many hours that they wont sacrifice their gym membership or their weekly massage. They let their own kids pay the price and when the child end up doing something wrong or pregnancy at 14 these parents have had their head in the sand so long that they are like "What?" .... Really parents deep down I know you aren't that ignorant of this ...you are just selfish....and that can be changed ....but only by you that childs parent

　

I think its time to back up and do damage control....

number one is ...you don't have to be a parent...no matter what parents or friends with kids pressure you to do ...there is no rule that states you have to bear children.

number two ...if you are already a parent and you feel that fight or flight emotion there is shame with getting help from professionals or even the people who have walked that road before.

number three if you are just a selfish person ...then it really is time to see a professional ... because you are only damaging yourself and you child

number four admit that you are human just like everyone else

number five consider that giving up some of your activities might be the way to go ...that child is only yours for MAYBE 20 years (If you are really lucky) ....chances are you are going to outlive the stay so have your fun after they move out ...its a small price to pay.