Sunday, July 15, 2012

Husband Grooming

Yes ... you read that right Spouse Grooming, Its when a "friend" "Co-Worker" Set into being everything you as their Wife/Husband are not. They take time to listen to your spouse because innocently they will tell these people all their marrige problems then the Groomers will figure out what is missing or lacking in your marriage then they slowly talk to your spouse and slowly morph into that person your are failing to be. The conversation also always head innocently into a sexual nature and his is when the Groomergets to innocently tell your spouse all the great things that they can do for them sexually and from where they have sat and listening to all the lacking points of your marriage can totally get big points in this area .... but once they have brooched the subject both parties usually knows where this relationship is headed.
Sometimes its just a game people play without any intent of hooking up with them sometimes its just the high of getting attention from someone .... but sometimes these Grooming sessions end marriages.

Let me explain to you ..... My husbands ex-girfriend reconnected with both of us around our 8th year of marriage. My husband even asked if it was o.k. if she was friends with us. I being a full believer in trust, said yes. Fully convident that my husband would never cheat on me. This ran into her coming to a huge Halloween bash that I throw every year and us being invited to her kids birthday parties. I thought that things were going along just great.Not that we were besties or anything but they seemed o.k. Now here is where the red flags popped and I ignored them (Note: never ignore red flag) She ended up without a job and my husband and I worked at the same place and once again my husband asked me would I mind if he asked my boss if they had a job for her and once again.... I said "Sure" Well that is where this little nightmare begins. It stared with the fact that she was working third shift and I was working dayshift and my husand kinda hit right in between. So if my husband had to stay late enough which was a couple of nights a week they would sit at the picnic table and talk. I am sure that my husband talked to her about how our marriage had changed since the wreck. (Had a wreak about 5 years ago almost died took along recovery time) So this girl  K.C was grooming herself to be the girl that I wasnt to my husband...please dont get this broken I blame both partys takes two to dance this dance. But as I would come in to work she would constainly tell me that she either talk to my husband or facebooked him or texted him and all red flags but the one that had the brightest red light was when she poked me and told me if I ever needed help with him *wink*  *wink* she would be there for me. I told my husband all of this and he asked if I wanted him to quit talking to her.... but I didnt want to sound jealous I said no .... (Dumb move again)  Well the year rolled on her family attended our Halloween party and Christmas came and went ... We got her a candleholder and candle and she got us bath towel and a candle ...these gifts will matter later. My husband had accumulated too many vacation days at work so for about three weeks he was going to have to take Monday and Tuesday off for the next three weeks. The first Monday I came home from work and there was my loving husband .... I asked him how was his day off ....what did you end up doing I asked ....nothing he responded , I told him 

that was exactly what a vacation day was for.. When in fact my husband had went out to eat lunch with K.C. and she had to give him the hat she bought him for Christmas  .... their lunch date was on April the 11th 2012. I came home on Wednesday of that week and my husband of 9 years informs me that she has given him a hat and it was a Christmas present. I asked "Why is she giving you a Christmas present we have already done Christmas....Then he informs me that its because he made her a braclet to go with a necklace that she already had. .... The he lowered the lunch date on me. I blew up seven way of Sunday he said he didnt tell me because he knew I would get angry.... Really?  Now .... let me tell you ladies ... and some will argue but you trust me second marriage trusted both of them to the max and have been served my ass on a platter both times .... if your wife has a male friend or your husband has a female friend..... almost always there is one party in that pair that wants the other ..... your husband or wife might be the one wanting or maybe they are the one wanted.... but it starts slowly and some even innocently were neither of them knew they had feeling .... but one of them will start turning into the spouse that you are not and they can because they dont have to be that person all the time ...just the few minutes or hour that they get to spend with the person you love, Then all of a sudden you get that speach of how its not you or anything you did ....they didnt mean for it to just happened my friends it doesnt  JUST happen grows slowly and its called emotional cheating and honest to me its worse that phyical cheating because ...the heart is involved. This happens in factories and  cubicles all around the world and the spouse are caught off guard. So if the spouse is dressing better or putting on cologne/perfume when he/she used to not ...... Realize that this is a "RED FLAG" and that your marriage is in jeapory. If it wasnt for my husbands conscience ....I always wonder where that relationship might have gone. My husband and I are still in the beginnings of trying to even figure out if this is worth saving. I have never had something hurt me so deeply and emotionally. Be careful of the women/men  married or not that standing or touching your spouse too much. Attached men have no need to hang out with married or single women As do attached women have no reason to hang out with married or single men. You are just asking for trouble and any desent man or woman  know this. Eyes open ladies/Gentlemen ....from me to you ....